Are you looking for signs your husband is gay? If this website is staring back at you now, just know that I've been where you are.

When I was 41 years old, I found out that my husband was gay.  I was not only devastated, but I couldn't help asking myself how I could not have known.  Wouldn't there have been obvious signs my husband was gay?  After much research I realized that most gay married men are masters at concealing their sexual orientation. Their wives and girlfriends are usually the last to know.

The Centers for Disease Control (and Prevention), CDC, estimates that at least 4,000,000 women have been involved with men that have had sex with other men!  That's a lot of us!   Most of us never even see it coming.

Here is another killer statistic: according to the Family Pride Coalition, 20 percent of all gay men in America are in heterosexual marriages.

So…what are the signs your husband is gay?  Let's look at some of the signs that may indicate your husband is homosexual. First you must rule out some of the stereotypes often associated with gay men, such as being overly sensitive or caring, emotional, having a lisp or carrying himself a certain way.  Just because he has some effeminate qualities does not mean that he is necessarily gay.

You can click here to download the complete list of signs your husband is gay, but here are a few:

• Suspicious non-verbal communication with other men -- a look, a touch or hug that lasts a little too long or seems to be intimate
• Possession of homosexual pornography.
• Extreme homophobic behavior, coupled with the other factors on this list, is a major sign your husband might be gay.
• If your husband continually makes "gay" jokes, or rages towards homosexuals or homosexual behavior, beware!

You Suspect Your Husband is Gay…Now What?

Despite how worried you may be that he is gay, be careful about accusing your husband until you have proof of his homosexuality. If he does not offer an explanation that is believable about his "typically gay" behavior, search deeper. You have every right to probe because it is your future and your family's well being on the line.

Hopefully, you have the means and the fortitude to handle the situation with grace and dignity.

This is especially true if you have children. You want to demonstrate to them how to handle difficult situations. There is perhaps no better opportunity to do this than when you are discovering the truth about their father.

If you really think your husband is gay, start by reading my book.  If you need some advice on what to do next, email me.

Recognizing the signs your husband might be gay is step one in a long process.  Take a deep breath, hold your head up high, and know that, like me, you'll survive.